What's in a name?

You have a name.  You must have a name - the government forces you to have one.

You may have been named by your parents at birth.  You may have been adopted as a baby and renamed.  You may have decided at some point in life that you wanted to change your name.  No matter what, you have a name.

There is the "why did my parents pick this name" aspect and then there is the "what does my name mean" aspect.  As a kid I remember being interested in the meaning of my name.  We had some book that listed names and their meanings.  And there it was... Brian = "strong one".  Yes!  Score!  My name conveys power and superiority.  I am truly fortunate to have this name.

Fast forward to my (much) older and (somewhat) wiser self.  It was during one of my dedicated introspection sessions that I had a revelation.  In this case the "dedicated introspection session" was when I was washing my car.  I started thinking about names and their meanings.  The much delayed light bulb that went off in my head was that almost without exception all the names were associated with something positive.

What does your name mean?  King, Queen, Princess, Holy One, Majestic, Strong, Angelic, Conquereor... even Strong One, just to name a few.  Anyone detect a pattern here?  Of course, it's so obvious - the "meaning" of each name is at best associated with someone in history (factual or fictitious) with whom you can make a positive association.

You're not getting the whole story - not by any means.  What if you were told that statistically your name which means "strong one" was associated with 0.001% of the people who ever carried that name?  Make you feel better?  Of course not.

And that's the point.  These name meaning reference guides will refer to the best name association available for that name.  They won't mention that there was only ever one person in the history of the world who lived up to the "meaning" of that name.  For every high performing namesake, there are scores, hundreds, thousands, and more of people with the same name who dream of mediocrity but don't even reach that stage.

So now that it's out in the open let's be real here.  You try to pull a good meaning from your name but often there was no thought beyond it being the name of a relative to whom a loan payment is owed or a name that "just sounds good and doesn't rhyme with any curse words".

No one enters the name game thinking they want a name that means "weak underperformer", "slovenly poop scraper", or "oafish crossdresser".  But reality is that there are probably many, many more of those types of people with that name than there are kings, queens, princesses, strong ones, etc.

So celebrate your name.  Don't feel entitled in any way because of what one of those name reference lists says your name means.  It's really just propaganda.  Live your life and make a name for yourself.  Inspire others to name their kids after you, at which point they can cite the positive meaning of the name.

Then again, if the kid has an innate research drive, they'll quickly find that while the name was inspired by a noble and esteemed colleague or friend, the reality is that the name was chosen somewhat arbitrarily.

No parent is going to say "I've named you after an oafish crossdresser".  Parents are funny that way.

Thoughts on the New Orleans Saints

Week 3 of the 2012 NFL season is complete and the New Orleans Saints have yet to win a game.  The games were all pretty close, but as you know close is meaningless.

Because of the bounty scandal, their head coach Sean Payton was suspended for the entire season.  Other coaches and even their GM were suspended for part of the season.  Some players were suspended, though those suspensions have been put on hold, at least temporarily.  The team lost their second round draft picks in 2012 and 2013.

The team and fans felt that the punishment far exceeded the crime.  They adopted an "us against the world" mentality.  Unfortunately, the world seems to be winning, at least for now.

Given the perfect clarity that three games can deliver, I have the following observations:

1. Sean Payton is a genius.  Obviously he is the reason why the Saints have performed so well over the past several years.  Seriously, what team loses their head coach and immediately falls from the top echelon of the league to the basement?  You'd expect a team to fall if their star quarterback could not play.  Look at Peyton Manning and the Colts.  Without him they had nothing.
   
   
2. Sean Payton is an idiot.  He was suspended because he lied and tried to cover up evidence that a bounty program existed.  He didn't get punished for the "crime" itself.  Ask Martha Stewart and numerous others - getting caught lying gets you in more trouble than if you had been truthful up front.
   
   
3. Sean Payton is a genius.  People believed he was an exceptional coach, but without being suspended no one would understand how the entire team's success depended on him.  Because of his forced absence, that point becomes abundantly clear.  Upon return, his salary should be doubled or tripled.  Without him, the team is directionless.

4. The Saints defense is like a Play-Doh extruder.  You know the things where you put in the Play-Doh, press down, and it comes out the other end in shapes and patterns?  That's the Saints defense.  They're not stopping anything.  Put in the doh, press lightly, and out the other end comes big plays, touchdowns, and field goals.  It's just that easy.
   
   
5. Gregg Willams used old Play-Doh.  Think what you want about former Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams and his style of coaching and personal ethics, but one thing is sure:  He knew how to harden up the Play-Doh.  The defense was still an extruder, but it was much harder to get that doh out the other end.  Steve Spagnuolo, the new Saints defensive coordinator, brought all new Play-Doh.  Teams squeeze it out the other end with very little effort.
   
   
6. Drew Brees was fortunate.  Brees received a new 5-year $100M contract before the season.  He is a great quarterback, but as we find out now he's not the reason why the Saints were so successful - it was all Sean Payton.  If Brees' contract were up after this season then I'm sure he'd get a whole lot less.  After all, Chase Daniels could have delivered an 0-3 start for next to nothing.  Brees should kick a little cash over to Payton, heck, a lot of cash.
   
   
7. The Saints found a way to stick it to Goodell.  As part of their bounty sanctions, the Saints will lose their second round pick in 2013.  The Saints' record will be so poor this year that they'll get the first draft pick in 2013.  Since Goodell didn't take away their first round pick in 2013, this is the best way the Saints could say "in your face".

It's all so obvious, isn't it?

Video Puzzle #1

This video depicts a memorable movie quote.  What is the quote and in what movie did it become famous?

If you can't figure it out or want to see the scene then click here.

Like Strategy

What is your “like” strategy on Facebook?  Do you have one?  Do you think about it?

While you think, I’ll tell you some of mine.  In general, I probably give out twice as many likes as I get.  Not sure really – I never counted.  I feel the world can use more likes.  That said, I don’t just like things for the sake of propagating likes… read on.

Some likes are almost automatic…

• Get engaged = like
• Get married = like
• Have a baby = like
• Get a new job or promotion = like
• Get divorced = like if I like you and I have some clue that this is a good thing for you

But so many more are conditional…

• Kid accomplishments = occasional like, just depends on what they do and how often they do it
• Little kid accomplishments = higher chance for like, because they’re cute
• Having a beer by a pool = like, unless you posted the same thing yesterday or you do it every week, though I do make exceptions
• Just having a beer (no pool involved) is not a like, unless your name is Matt, Frank, or Dwayne (no reason except that I get to make my own rules) in which case you might get one
• Vacation is usually a like, unless you take too many in which case I’ll withhold some other likes I would normally give for other things
• “It’s Friday!!!” and related calendar-centric proclamations do not warrant a like
• Pasting a joke is not usually a like, but there are exceptions
• Pictures will get a like if there is something about it that is interesting such as the setting, subject, or an emotion.  It’s not just the “pretty pictures” that get a like.
• A post about a favorite or least favorite team may get a like on game days
• New house, new car, new boat = might be a like, though personal possessions pale in comparison to human events.  An exception is if that new possession really represents an accomplishment such as being successful in a new career.
• Have a colonoscopy = uh, not like

Some other guidelines...

• I generally don’t like quotes that are posted.  I have no problem with people posting them and often think the quotes are entertaining, but they just don’t get a like.
• The same applies for most news articles and other links.  Occasionally if the content is especially entertaining or meaningful to me I’ll toss out a like, but not usually.
• Those pictures with sayings that people post do not get a like, period.  They may be funny, but you didn't come up with it.  I want to like what you do, not what you find.
• Posting something original will often get a like, even if it’s not particularly interesting or humorous – you tried, I like that.  Okay, not always, but I much prefer original thoughts over recycled ones.
• A good riff on someone else’s post gets a like.
• Like my posts and you’re probably more likely to get some likes back, but that’s not a guarantee.  You still have to register in one of the areas above.
• Sometimes I give likes for completely random reasons so trying to discern reason is often futile (why did he like that?).  I reserve the right to toss out random likes at my discretion.

If you like everything that everyone does then it’s hard to determine what you really like.  Also, liking someone’s comment is one thing.  Liking that someone comments is another.

Likes can be relative.  For some people I like a lot of what they post but can’t click like every time because that waters down the meaning.  If I click like for most of your posts, how can I tell you when I really, really like something?  Sure, that could warrant a comment, but that takes it to a whole new level that is outside the scope of this discussion.  Yes, you're penalized for being interesting, funny, thoughtful, and insightful - but if you're one of those and haven't figured out that I appreciate what you post then either I'm doing a bad job at communicating it or you're not paying attention.

It doesn’t really matter if I’m happy or sad, relaxed or stressed.  Giving me a smile or a different point of view on a crappy day means quite a bit.

So there’s my strategy, such as it is.  It’s not really a strategy but more of a reflection on what things I tend to like over others.

I don’t expect you to like this post.  In fact, I’m not even posting it on Facebook.  The most I’ll have there is a link to it, and even by my own definition I don’t like links.

If you have your own like or not like strategy or just random thoughts I’d love to hear it.  And maybe I’ll like them.

I Hear Voices

Early this morning I found out that my smoke detector talks. Yep, you heard what I said, it talks.

At about 4:45am as I was waking up I swore I heard a loud beep followed by what sounded like a police radio. I wasn't sure if it was a dream, so I went downstairs to get ready for my 5am conference call. Then I heard it again. No dream this time... but I was completely stumped. What the f--- is making that noise and talking? I eliminated the possibility that there was a police officer hiding in my closets and frankly was befuddled.

I decided to check the smoke detectors to see if any of them had a red or blinking light or something, but they were all green and smiling. I had no idea how the voice worked into this scenario, but one thing at a time.

As I stood in the upstairs hallway scratching my head (well, scratching... let's just go with head) the smoke detector above me proceeds to make the loud beep and then say in its best walkie talkie voice "Low battery". Great, mystery solved.

But really, when did they start making talking smoke detectors? The answer is 2009 apparently. File that in the category of "news to me". The house is about two years old in case you're wondering how I didn't know already. That would've been a really good thing for the builder to cover during the walk-through.

If any of the electronic fates are listening, next time something completely unexpected starts talking to me, like the toaster oven, can you please make it happen in the afternoon?

Brand Promotion and Beliefs

Remarks by Chick-fil-A president Dan Cathy against gay marriage have created a huge amount of news coverage and public support/outrage.  Those who agree his stance have been flocking to the fast food restaurant in droves to show their support.  On August 1, 2012, an independently organized effort to get people who oppose gay marriage to visit Chick-fil-A generated huge crowds and record sales. On August 3, 2012, this was countered by same sex "kiss-ins" at some locations.  The only chicken consumed at those events was chicken-flavored lip gloss.

Does Dan Cathy's opposition to gay marriage indict Chick-fil-A as a whole?  Well, yes and no.  People often associate the beliefs of a leader with that of an entire company.  Does everyone who works at Chick-fil-A feel that way?  Of course not.  Do they discriminate against people based on sexual orientation?  Nope.  Are there thousands of businesses you patronize on a regular basis or whose products you buy that have leaders with beliefs counter to yours or that donate money to organizations you abhor?  Yep, but you are mostly unaware.

The point is that in this case a public remark ignited a firestorm, however the "problem" is hardly unique.  To the extent that it brings about civil debate on a subject then it was well worth the coverage.

But here's a separate matter to consider.  One that doesn't get discussed much.  If you're a spokesperson for a company there are very strict guidelines you must abide by to keep your reputation in good standing because your image is associated with the product/company you're promoting.  Get arrested in a drunken bar brawl, assault a police officer, commit battery against a domestic partner, or get exposed for a long string of extra-marital affairs and you'll likely find yourself out of an endorsement contract.

You have contractual obligations to the company, but what obligations do they have to you?  If the company you endorse is now associated with a stance that you do not believe in, is there recourse?  Are you entitled to state your own opinion on the matter?

Specifically for Chick-fil-A, what do the cows think?  Here is what I think they'd say:

Cows are generally known to be progressive thinkers.  They haven't developed the verbal skills of the Geico gecko yet, but they apparently have learned to fashion crude signs.

And I don't think they're worried about getting fired... flame broiled yes, but fired no.

Picture Puzzle #1

Name that tune...