Like Strategy

What is your “like” strategy on Facebook?  Do you have one?  Do you think about it?

While you think, I’ll tell you some of mine.  In general, I probably give out twice as many likes as I get.  Not sure really – I never counted.  I feel the world can use more likes.  That said, I don’t just like things for the sake of propagating likes… read on.

Some likes are almost automatic…

• Get engaged = like
• Get married = like
• Have a baby = like
• Get a new job or promotion = like
• Get divorced = like if I like you and I have some clue that this is a good thing for you

But so many more are conditional…

• Kid accomplishments = occasional like, just depends on what they do and how often they do it
• Little kid accomplishments = higher chance for like, because they’re cute
• Having a beer by a pool = like, unless you posted the same thing yesterday or you do it every week, though I do make exceptions
• Just having a beer (no pool involved) is not a like, unless your name is Matt, Frank, or Dwayne (no reason except that I get to make my own rules) in which case you might get one
• Vacation is usually a like, unless you take too many in which case I’ll withhold some other likes I would normally give for other things
• “It’s Friday!!!” and related calendar-centric proclamations do not warrant a like
• Pasting a joke is not usually a like, but there are exceptions
• Pictures will get a like if there is something about it that is interesting such as the setting, subject, or an emotion.  It’s not just the “pretty pictures” that get a like.
• A post about a favorite or least favorite team may get a like on game days
• New house, new car, new boat = might be a like, though personal possessions pale in comparison to human events.  An exception is if that new possession really represents an accomplishment such as being successful in a new career.
• Have a colonoscopy = uh, not like

Some other guidelines...

• I generally don’t like quotes that are posted.  I have no problem with people posting them and often think the quotes are entertaining, but they just don’t get a like.
• The same applies for most news articles and other links.  Occasionally if the content is especially entertaining or meaningful to me I’ll toss out a like, but not usually.
• Those pictures with sayings that people post do not get a like, period.  They may be funny, but you didn't come up with it.  I want to like what you do, not what you find.
• Posting something original will often get a like, even if it’s not particularly interesting or humorous – you tried, I like that.  Okay, not always, but I much prefer original thoughts over recycled ones.
• A good riff on someone else’s post gets a like.
• Like my posts and you’re probably more likely to get some likes back, but that’s not a guarantee.  You still have to register in one of the areas above.
• Sometimes I give likes for completely random reasons so trying to discern reason is often futile (why did he like that?).  I reserve the right to toss out random likes at my discretion.

If you like everything that everyone does then it’s hard to determine what you really like.  Also, liking someone’s comment is one thing.  Liking that someone comments is another.

Likes can be relative.  For some people I like a lot of what they post but can’t click like every time because that waters down the meaning.  If I click like for most of your posts, how can I tell you when I really, really like something?  Sure, that could warrant a comment, but that takes it to a whole new level that is outside the scope of this discussion.  Yes, you're penalized for being interesting, funny, thoughtful, and insightful - but if you're one of those and haven't figured out that I appreciate what you post then either I'm doing a bad job at communicating it or you're not paying attention.

It doesn’t really matter if I’m happy or sad, relaxed or stressed.  Giving me a smile or a different point of view on a crappy day means quite a bit.

So there’s my strategy, such as it is.  It’s not really a strategy but more of a reflection on what things I tend to like over others.

I don’t expect you to like this post.  In fact, I’m not even posting it on Facebook.  The most I’ll have there is a link to it, and even by my own definition I don’t like links.

If you have your own like or not like strategy or just random thoughts I’d love to hear it.  And maybe I’ll like them.

I Hear Voices

Early this morning I found out that my smoke detector talks. Yep, you heard what I said, it talks.

At about 4:45am as I was waking up I swore I heard a loud beep followed by what sounded like a police radio. I wasn't sure if it was a dream, so I went downstairs to get ready for my 5am conference call. Then I heard it again. No dream this time... but I was completely stumped. What the f--- is making that noise and talking? I eliminated the possibility that there was a police officer hiding in my closets and frankly was befuddled.

I decided to check the smoke detectors to see if any of them had a red or blinking light or something, but they were all green and smiling. I had no idea how the voice worked into this scenario, but one thing at a time.

As I stood in the upstairs hallway scratching my head (well, scratching... let's just go with head) the smoke detector above me proceeds to make the loud beep and then say in its best walkie talkie voice "Low battery". Great, mystery solved.

But really, when did they start making talking smoke detectors? The answer is 2009 apparently. File that in the category of "news to me". The house is about two years old in case you're wondering how I didn't know already. That would've been a really good thing for the builder to cover during the walk-through.

If any of the electronic fates are listening, next time something completely unexpected starts talking to me, like the toaster oven, can you please make it happen in the afternoon?

Brand Promotion and Beliefs

Remarks by Chick-fil-A president Dan Cathy against gay marriage have created a huge amount of news coverage and public support/outrage.  Those who agree his stance have been flocking to the fast food restaurant in droves to show their support.  On August 1, 2012, an independently organized effort to get people who oppose gay marriage to visit Chick-fil-A generated huge crowds and record sales. On August 3, 2012, this was countered by same sex "kiss-ins" at some locations.  The only chicken consumed at those events was chicken-flavored lip gloss.

Does Dan Cathy's opposition to gay marriage indict Chick-fil-A as a whole?  Well, yes and no.  People often associate the beliefs of a leader with that of an entire company.  Does everyone who works at Chick-fil-A feel that way?  Of course not.  Do they discriminate against people based on sexual orientation?  Nope.  Are there thousands of businesses you patronize on a regular basis or whose products you buy that have leaders with beliefs counter to yours or that donate money to organizations you abhor?  Yep, but you are mostly unaware.

The point is that in this case a public remark ignited a firestorm, however the "problem" is hardly unique.  To the extent that it brings about civil debate on a subject then it was well worth the coverage.

But here's a separate matter to consider.  One that doesn't get discussed much.  If you're a spokesperson for a company there are very strict guidelines you must abide by to keep your reputation in good standing because your image is associated with the product/company you're promoting.  Get arrested in a drunken bar brawl, assault a police officer, commit battery against a domestic partner, or get exposed for a long string of extra-marital affairs and you'll likely find yourself out of an endorsement contract.

You have contractual obligations to the company, but what obligations do they have to you?  If the company you endorse is now associated with a stance that you do not believe in, is there recourse?  Are you entitled to state your own opinion on the matter?

Specifically for Chick-fil-A, what do the cows think?  Here is what I think they'd say:

Cows are generally known to be progressive thinkers.  They haven't developed the verbal skills of the Geico gecko yet, but they apparently have learned to fashion crude signs.

And I don't think they're worried about getting fired... flame broiled yes, but fired no.

Picture Puzzle #1

Name that tune...

My Dog Knows Customer Service

My dog Bobby can teach you a lesson about how to keep your customers happy.  Really, he can.

First let me set the scene.  At our house we have an invisible fence that keeps him in the yard, so as a result he's able to roam freely in the front and back yards.  He loves to hang out on the front porch and when it's not too hot he loves to lay out on the driveway.

As is common almost anywhere, there are delivery vehicles that pass by on a regular basis.  If a delivery was being made to our house I would usually call Bobby inside to avert the confrontation between dog and delivery person.  Drivers come equipped with dog treats to help them make the peace, but that doesn't always work.

One thing I noticed over time is that the UPS driver would slow down and throw a treat to Bobby on the driveway even if he wasn't going to make a delivery to our house.  The purpose became clear – he was building goodwill.  Brown truck + person in brown uniform = treat = happy feeling.

Now let's compare this to the FedEx drivers who don't provide treats unless they have a delivery and even then not every time.  I received a call recently from a FedEx guy stating that he was trying to make a delivery but that the dog would not let him on the driveway.  Apparently Bobby really didn't like this guy.  And why should he?  This person was a complete stranger and there was no positive association with a white delivery truck, only brown ones.

The UPS drivers in my area made an effort to continue building a relationship even when there was no immediate business associated with it.  The FedEx drivers did not.  The result is that Bobby had a better impression of UPS than he did of FedEx.

Think of how this applies to your customers.  Do you do the little things to keep your customers engaged and provide them with perks (“treats”) even when you're not selling them something?   If you don’t then you should.  That way when you try to sell them something the next time, you can be greeted with a wag and “let onto the driveway” or at least have a better chance at success as opposed to being barked at and kept shut out or at best having a difficult time achieving your objective.

Bobby is available for customer success consulting.

Mondelez is the new Mississippi

Kraft spun off its snack food business into a separate company, which means they had to come up with a name for that new company.  They decided to eschew the route of hiring a marketing agency to help find a new name and decided to solicit suggestions from their own employees.

After sifting through thousands of suggested names they settled upon the name Mondelez.  Yep, Mondelez.  Really, that’s what they decided was the best.  Makes me wonder if they sorted the list with worst on top instead of best.

It is pronounced mohn-duh-LEEZ.  Officially, the emphasis is on the last syllable.  I think the emphasis should be on the middle syllable instead – DUH.

The name is a combination of two words that mean “world” and “delicious” in several languages.  At least that was their interpretation.  After some crack investigation, I found that a small Pacific island where that name means “gullible sheep”.  (I haven’t figured out how you determine the difference between a gullible and non-gullible sheep, but that’s a different topic.)

When you name a company you have to conduct a trademark search to find out if that name is used anywhere else by another company or even sounds or is spelled similarly to another company or product.  On this one I think the search took about 10 minutes.  I hope the trademark search company was paid a fixed fee instead of by the hour.

One big problem is that all the good company names are already taken, so a company that needs a new name is forced to wander off into the land of made up mash up words.  The goal is usually to find some really cool name that conveys the history and mission of the company in three syllables or less.  That’s a tall task, for sure, but you have to know when to keep searching.

The company I work for went through a name change last year.  In the search for the perfect name we came up with many, many really, really bad names.  A few of these really, really bad names came frighteningly close to being “the name” but fortunately they were eventually ruled out.  Even the winning name wasn’t an instant success, but the heart did warm to it over time.

Growing up in Louisiana we were often low in categories that you’d rather not be low in, such as education.  No matter what, though, there was one saying that we could always take comfort in: “At least we’re not Mississippi”.  I imagine that people in Alabama used that one as well.  The point is that we may be bad, but someone else is worse.

That’s why Mondelez is the new Mississippi, at least in the corporate world.  No matter how bad the name of your company sucks, you can always say “At least we’re not Mondelez”.

Deceptive Product Labeling

Previously, I shared an example of a Happy Product Design.  Take one mundane syrup bottle, add some creativity, and voilà you make something unexpected and interesting.

Now for an example of the "dark side" of product design, specifically in the labeling.  Not dark in a truly evil way, but definitely on the shady side.  Here it is...

The text "40% More" is prominently displayed on the label.  Now read the fine print... "than our 14 oz".  Ah, now you see.  They're not saying "40% Free", they're just saying "40% More".  And, surely enough 20 oz. is 40% more than 14 oz. (after rounding).  It's a mathematical exercise.

And guess how much this product costs?  Why yes, it costs about 40% more than the 14 oz. version.

Many people are tuned to look for labels with "40% More", "25% More", etc.  Often people don't notice that the word "Free" is missing and reach for the product thinking they're getting a bargain, but they're not.  That's what the manufacturer is counting on to boost sales.

Even if you do figure out that you're not getting anything extra for free, the prominent "40% More" text will get you to notice this product above others because we're trained to look for deals and at first glance this one matches the pattern.

This is not unique to French's mustard - not by any means.  I've seen many more examples of this before.  In this case, I like the product and a stunt like this doesn't change my likelihood to buy it.  So no harm done, right?  Well, not in this case, for me, but for other products it could definitely have an impact.

So what's the lesson?  Read labels carefully and understand what you're getting.  Or don't do it and live your life being manipulated by evil product labeling designers who laugh at you.